Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
