oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am one with the molecules
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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