Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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