She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
