Who did Billy Mays play for?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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