we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
