just come out here and I will go home with you...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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