i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I need mimosas to revive my soul
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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