I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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