People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
