So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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