Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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