just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize