I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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