remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
