Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
