Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
