I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
