In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize