When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
