i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
