So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
