Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
