Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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