If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
