So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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