I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
