I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
