Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
