I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
