so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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