that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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