she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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