if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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