Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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