Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
