whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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