You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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