It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
