He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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