I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
