I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
