I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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