She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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