You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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