imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
