I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You're completely useless in the revolution.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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