just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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