I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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