i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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