O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
