hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
