There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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