Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
