I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
