i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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