scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
