ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
