i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
