Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Randomize
