no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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