i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
