Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
