i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
