Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
